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Languages/TOEFL

[TOEFL][Writing] Q2: Academic Writing, Examples of 5.0

by ICHBINLUCAS 2023. 8. 13.

https://www.ets.org/toefl/test-takers/ibt/prepare/practice-tests.html#accordion-31f3d4f46f-item-c465e56481

 

Practice Tests for the TOEFL iBT Test

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Q. Express and support your opinion. Make a contribution to the discussion in you own words.

 

Test 1

 

A viable strategy for governments to entice more people to live in rural areas is to enhance the living standards and the prospects for learning and working there. Many urban dwellers opt for the city life because they benefit from superior education, health care, and employment opportunities than in the countryside. If the government devoted more resources to these aspects of rural development, people might be more eager to relocate there or remain there. For example, the government could provide financial assistance for rural schools and hospitals, create incentives for businesses to expand their operations in rural regions, and improve the infrastructure and transportation systems that connect rural communities to urban hubs. This way, rural residents would not feel isolated or disadvantaged, but rather savor the advantages of both urban and rural lifestyles.

 

Test 2

 

I strongly advocate for grades that incorporate both performance and effort. Performance is the main indicator of learning, but effort also conveys the student’s attitude and motivation. A student who works assiduously, even if they do not achieve the highest marks, shows that they appreciate their education and that they strive to improve their abilities. A student who neglects effort, even if they succeed in their assignments, may not have a deep understanding of the material or may lose interest in the future. Therefore, I think teachers should recognize hard work as well as performance, because both are crucial for academic success and personal growth. Moreover, I think this approach would foster a positive learning environment where students are encouraged to do their best and support each other.

 

Test 3

 

I believe the most urgent environmental problem is the loss of biodiversity due to habitat destruction, overexploitation, and climate change. This problem threatens the survival of many species and the balance of ecosystems, which could have negative consequences for human well-being and health. A possible solution is to implement more effective conservation policies and practices, such as creating protected areas, restoring degraded habitats, regulating wildlife trade, and raising public awareness. These actions would require international cooperation and funding, as well as local participation and support. By preserving biodiversity, we would also protect the natural resources and services that we depend on for our survival and development. Furthermore, we would enhance the beauty and diversity of our planet, which is a value in itself.

 

Template
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**Introduction: State Your Position**

I firmly believe that [state your opinion on the topic]. In my view, this perspective holds significant merit due to [briefly explain why this perspective is important or relevant].

**Main Body: Present Your Argument**

One primary rationale for this stance is that [provide your first reason or argument]. For instance, [offer an example or explanation that supports your reasoning]. This illustrates how [connect the example to the broader argument].

Furthermore, [introduce your second reason or argument]. To elucidate, [provide another example or explanation that reinforces your point]. This demonstrates [highlight the significance of the example].

**Counterpoint Refutation: Address an Opposing Perspective (if applicable)**

While some may argue that [acknowledge an opposing viewpoint], I maintain that [reiterate your position and provide a counterargument]. [Explain why your position is more valid or supported by evidence].

**Conclusion: Summarize and Reaffirm**

To sum up, [restate your opinion and briefly recap your main arguments]. By [briefly describe the positive outcome or impact of adopting your perspective], we can [re-emphasize the benefits of your viewpoint]. Thus, it is evident that [reiterate your position]

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Here is a possible template for a 5.0/5.0 writing:

I strongly support/oppose the idea that (state the topic or issue). (State your main reason for your position). (Explain your reason with an example or evidence). A (person or group) who (does or does not) (state the topic or issue) (shows or does not show) that they (state the quality or value related to your position). A (person or group) who (does the opposite of the topic or issue) may (state the negative outcome or consequence). Therefore, I think (people or groups) should (do or not do) (state the topic or issue), because both are important for (state the goal or benefit related to your position). Additionally, I think this approach would (state another positive outcome or consequence related to your position).


[ChatGPT Feed back]
In the examples you provided, there are several important grammar and sentence structure points that contribute to achieving a 5.0/5.0 writing score. Here are some key points highlighted from each example:

**Test 1: Rural Development Strategy**

- Use of complex sentences for elaboration: "If the government devoted more resources to these aspects of rural development, people might be more eager to relocate there or remain there."

- Advanced vocabulary: "entice," "prospects," "incentives," "infrastructure," "disadvantaged," "savor."

- Subjunctive mood for hypothetical situations: "people might be more eager to relocate there or remain there.'

- Parallelism for emphasis: "financial assistance for rural schools and hospitals," "create incentives for businesses," "improve the infrastructure and transportation systems."

**Test 2: Grading System**

- Complex sentence structures with conditional clauses: "A student who works assiduously, even if they do not achieve the highest marks, shows that they appreciate their education and that they strive to improve their abilities."

- Use of conjunctions for coherence and elaboration: "but effort also conveys the student’s attitude and motivation."

- Comparative structures for balanced comparisons: "both are crucial for academic success and personal growth."

**Test 3: Biodiversity Conservation**

- Complex sentence with cause and effect relationship: "This problem threatens the survival of many species and the balance of ecosystems, which could have negative consequences for human well-being and health."

- Use of modal verbs for suggestions: "A possible solution is to implement more effective conservation policies and practices."

- Cohesive devices to link ideas: "These actions would require international cooperation and funding, as well as local participation and support."

- Infinitive phrases for clarity: "to implement more effective conservation policies and practices," "to protect the natural resources and services."

- Advanced vocabulary: "biodiversity," "overexploitation," "regulating," "participation."

Overall, these examples exhibit advanced sentence structures, varied vocabulary, and a coherent flow of ideas, which are all characteristics of a 5.0/5.0 writing response. By incorporating these elements into your own writing, you can effectively demonstrate your language proficiency and achieve a high score.